Raising Confident, Independent Kids: What We're Trying At Home
Raising confident, independent kids who want to do things for themselves is the dream. But with two young kids at home, it has always felt a little out of reach.
The swimming week that changed things
During school swimming week, our six-year-old was nervous and kept saying he didn't want to swim. That wasn't like him. He loves swimming, and he's been going to swimming lessons for years. When we asked why, it came down to one worry: getting changed out of his wet bathers by himself.
It made me stop. Something I thought was simple was actually causing him a lot of worry. That was the moment I thought, it's time he started doing more things by himself.
Finding the balance
I've always found it hard to get the balance right between guiding our kids and letting them take ownership of their own lives.
When we constantly remind, organise and rescue, we might get the result we want straight away. But we can miss the chance to teach responsibility, and to make sure they're comfortable doing things by themselves when we're not nearby.
What we're trying
A routine and a reward system
Setting up routines in Little Streaks, with rewards to save up for, was our first step.
Acknowledging their feelings
We'd all rather play with Lego than make our beds, even as adults.
Praising effort
Even if the task isn't done perfectly, it matters to acknowledge that they tried. I still struggle with this one. No one wants to clean up spilled milk. But if the milk got spilled by a kid trying to make their own breakfast before school, it's time to praise, not get upset.
Giving them choices
Kids feel more ownership over a task when they get a say in it. For example, we put the breakfast options somewhere they can reach, so they can choose their own.
Letting them forget
If forgetting something won't cause too many problems, let them forget, so they learn it's their responsibility.
Where we're at
We're early in our journey. Some days are great, and others are still a struggle. Every kid learns these things at their own pace, but we're excited about the progress our little boy is making.
And swimming week? It ended well.
Little Streaks is a routines and rewards app for kids, for iPhone and iPad. Free to start, with up to two routines.
